Monday, January 28, 2013

And That's When the Fight Started...

There comes a point in time, after you’ve been married for a bit, that some things you say to your spouse don’t come out quite as you intended them to. Let’s face it, we get to know each other pretty well, and sometimes we hear stuff in a certain way, and since we’re comfortably ensconced in our relationship, we just blurt out the first thing that pops into our head.

This is a two-edged sword. It’s great that we feel confident enough to be honest with each other. But on the flip side, we’ve also become relaxed enough we don’t engage our censor button as we should. From experience, I can say, this isn’t always a good thing.

The point of this blog entry became all too evident when I received an email from a friend a few months back entitled…And that’s when the fight started. Okay, let’s be real here. I’m a writer. Did you really think I would pass up this kind of opportunity for story fodder? Of course not. So I opened the email and read through it. I snickered, I laughed, I guffawed, and I chuckled at each of the blunders these couples were guilty of making.

Some of them seemed realistic; I definitely saw how the most innocent of conversations could end up in a fight. The majority of them came across as contrived, and unfortunately, put the men in the position of being the bad guy; something I hate. In real life, the man is not always the culprit. We women have our times as well. We say stupid things without thinking. I threw out the obviously manufactured ones as fabricated tales put together with no other thought in mind than to elicit an emotional response.

So what were some of these bloopers I knew could be true?

A husband and wife were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while in bed.
The husband turned to his wife and asked, "Do you want to have sex?"
The wife, suffering through a hotflash, wasn’t in the mood, so she looked at him and answered, "No."
So the husband figured he’d try again. "Is that your final answer?"
The wife didn't even bother to look at him this time. "Yes."
"Then I'd like to phone a friend."
And that's when the fight started.

A wife sat down on the couch next to her husband as he was flipping through the channels on the television. “What's on TV?”
His answer? “Dust.”
And that’s when the fight started.

A wife asked her husband if the dress she had on made her butt look big.
He blurted out the first thing that came to mind. “Not as much as the one you had on yesterday.”
And that’s when the fight started.

My hubby and I have been together ten years now, and I have to admit we sometimes fall into this trap. We hear bits and pieces of the other’s conversation, or our mind is going one way, and theirs is going another. We’ve had more than our share of that’s when the fight started episodes. Case in point:

One day, after talking to my youngest son, who asked to borrow a certain tool, I called my hubby at work. “Hey Brett asked if he could borrow the bow saw. Is that okay?”
Hubby, “Sure.
Me, “Where’s it at?”
Hubby, “In the shed.”
Me, “What’s it look like?”
Hubby, “It’s that small white building in the corner of the yard.”
My answer as I chuckled: "And that’s when the fight started."

Another time, he came into the kitchen, sat down, and began putting on his sneakers. Knowing my hubby hates shoes, and hadn’t said anything about going anywhere, I was a bit confused so I asked, “What are you doing?”
He looked up, blinked at me with nothing but innocence on his face, and answered, “Putting my shoes on.”
And that’s when the fight started.

Me: “I’m hot.”
Hubby: “Yes you are.”
Me: “That’s not what I meant.”
Him: “That’s the way I took it.”
Me: “Of course you did.”
Him: “What else did you expect?”
Me: “A little bit of sympathy.”
Him: “For being hot?”
Rolling my eyes: “Never mind.”
And that’s when the fight started.

I put the missive out to all of my friends to see if they had an And that’s when the fight started moment. One of the ones I got back (with permission to repost…thanks Robbie Cox) was this:

Husband to wife: “Would you look at all of the dishes the kids left.”
Wife, shaking her head. “Yeah. What am I going to do with them?”
Husband, “Wash them?”

So, do you have any of these And that’s when the fight started instances? Come on…share with us. Because, if nothing else, it’s the humor that gets us through the married years.

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